Break is over................:(

So Thanksgiving break is over and I has the sadz :`(

I really don't want to go back to the BS that is my job. I love the kids and can't wait to see them light up when they get to class tomorrow but damnit I can leave the rest.

Aside from that this week should be uneventful like the rest of my life has been, lol. The only adventures I have are in my head.

I got about Half my christmas shopping done and need the other half to do. Which means that Sprites is all thats left really, lol. Unfortunately I don't start shopping for Sprite till after her birthday which is in the first week of December. Once she's done then I'm finished for the year, lol.

We're putting up the tree this week, and all I can say to that is that while I like to decorate for the holidays I really can't like christmas as I always seem to get depressed around this time of year and even my books and writing can keep the depression at bay.

Maybe this year will be different since Sprite is old enough to be enthralled with Christmas and santa and this is the year I need to start thinking Traditions instead of just Christmas by the book.

Good thing about this week is that the pics we took last week will be coming up online for us to look at and order and I can't wait to see them! I'll be sure to post a few here for you all to gawk at us.

I need to find something to keep me busy through Christmas and Newyears as those days/nights are my worst for lonliness to creep in besides Valentines day of course. I hate Valentines day with a vengeance......................it's a vile day that needs to be wiped from the face of holidays.

After that passage of sadness what next?

Well Sprite has the croup, mild form of it that just has her congested like no other and weezing a bit. I've been giving her eucalyptus infusions under a croup tent for the congestion and she's better. She had fever early in the week that has since passed.

If the fever comes back or her breathing gets worse we will be going to the docs next week. So cross your fingers that no docs are needed, lol.

I want to get my hair trimmed and flatironed for Sprites bday party coming up mostly because I just want to pamper myself and for more practical reasons is that my ends are crunchy and need a cut.

I got nothing else, gosh my life is boring no wonder no one reads this blog or my posts on bbc, @@ pathetic.

Here's some poetry

Read "What if" as if it were 3people in a conversation the far left being one person the middle being another and the far right being another.

What if

What if a book were only infinite memory of a word lacking?—Edward Jabes

What if the word lacking was one of substance?

One of feeling

One of sense
One of general goodness

A word such as hope

Hope in times of sadness
Hope in times of gladness
Hope in something that will one day be

Like a happy family of your own

What if the book were only infinite memories?

Memories of a love lost
Memories of a love found
Memories of a time that knew no bounds

Memories of wandering through the woods and never getting lost.
Memories of 6 children and out of all of them only the oldest knew real fear.

What if the infinite memory of a word were lost?

Lost and were gone forever
Lost but found between the pages of a book
Lost and found but soon forgotten

Lost and found a lover, friend, or a family member long gone.
Lost memories, lost words, lost in such a way that when found you smile at the memory but soon forget the comings and goings of a lost thought.

What if the word lacking were only a book of infinite memory?

Hurts
What hurts mean the most?

Is it when you fall and scrape your knee?
Is it when you break a bone or find that you cannot see?

No, not those hurts they mean little and harm even less. It is when you’re heart breaks but still life goes on.

When do hurts fail to heal?

Are they hurts that can’t be forgotten?
Are they hurts that fail to seal?

No, not these hurts, the forgotten you never remember and the unseal able you build a bridge. It’s the hurt you try to be happy in spite of but weighs you down like wet cement.

When does happiness bring more hurt than joy?

Is it when a child is born?
Is it when love fails?
No, it is when you find the one you’re meant to be with and watch as he marries your friend.

Confusion

He ruined it
Ruined it I say
Ruined it into a completion that far spans a day
He ruined it for eternity

It was wonderful
It was grand
The beauty of it would make glass into sand

It was glorious
It was sweet
It most definitely made me weak

But he ruined it
Ruined it all
With the words he said even though they were small
And still he said them

We were happy
We were free
We were all that we could be
And yet we’re not….still

He ruined it
It’s all his fault
Why couldn’t he leave us alone…to let everything rise or fall

The simplest thing went wrong

Because…… he said……..I love you