Sunday, September 26, 2010

Much Ado About Nothing.....

Aside from being the movie verson of a Shakespear play that I just finished watching, I think it aptly describes the last couple of weeks.

The week before last I put my car in the shop for repairs and it stayed at the shop for a week and a half. *shakes head* Ohhhhh my life. On Wednesday of this past week I got it out of the shop with $557.92 ohhhh my poor frugal literally hurt to hand over my debit card for that much money! All my savings for the next 2mos rent gone and now I must start over. Not to mention that when I got the car back and started driving it its making an aweful whinning noise that it didn't have before, go figure. For that much money it should purr like a cat and catch mice too while its at it. *sigh*

At school the last couple weeks it has been undescribable, completely. The week before last I had to spend the morning on the phone with CPS to call in a referral on one of my kids for something that I can not talk about here. Sufice it to say that it was BAD. After that me and one of my fellow teacher's had a teeny misunderstanding. Let me tell you about it..............

It all started with an email advising me of a new student, lets call him Mando, in this email that was sent to me as well as my fellow teacher because it had some things in it pertinent to her as well as me. Anyway the email said that Mando's parents were having a strained marriage and to work with them on getting transportation established. That's all it said about Mando. No more no less.

Well my fellow teacher and her aide asked me if I got the email about Mando's parents going through a bad divorce and needing help. Well, No, I said I didn't get any such email about them going through a divorce and them needing help. So I asked "why did you get the email? and when did you get it? What did it say?"

The aide said "we got it yesterday. All it said was that Mando's parents were going through a difficult divorce and we needed to show him some consideration and help them out a bit."

I said "Help them out with what? I'm not a family councilor. I have nothing to do with that boy's home life unless they bring it to my school. I'm not getting involved there."

Aide said "well its our jobs to help him adjust to his parents divorce and to show him a little compassion and understanding during this hard time that their going through, don't you think. I mean if their going through a bad divorce its understandable that he's going to be upset about it."

I said, "No, its not our job to adjust him to anything but school. He's 3 and while he might be attuned to the tension in the house hold he has no idea whats going on around him. The boy cant speak let alone comprehend DIVORCE. If they want help with that they need to go to counceling. I will say again I'm NOT GETTING INVOLVED WITH THEIR PRIVATE LIVES. It's none of my business unless they bring it to my classroom. If he's upset when he comes to class I will sooth him as best I can like I do all the kids but what happens at home stays at home unless he comes in covered in bruises then I report it to DHS. Thats it thats all. Its not MY JOB to pry into their lives. And I didnt get an email about divorce. All my email said was that their marriage was STRAINED and that to me does not mean divorce. I'm going to go look to make sure the boss didnt send something else saying we needed to help with their private lives."

Both my fellow teacher and her aide looked at me like I was a heartless beast. Honestly I don't care. Its not my job as a headstart teacher to get involved with my kids parents private lives, and frankly my dear I don't give a damn.

So to satisfy myself I went to my school email and found not one word about divorce or anything. So I asked my fellow teacher to show me the email they got and guess what IT WAS THE SAME EMAIL. The one above that I said stated "Emerald you have a new student MANDO. Your gonna have to help them out with TRANSPORTATION to and from school as his parents marriage is STRAINED."

So I said "I got that email and in no where in it does it say divorce or to help him and his family in anything other than transportation to and from school, ya'll are crazy."

I go back to my center where my aide has gotten back from her break and asked what was going on. I told her what happened and then said "I think they're just reading to much into that email because they got WAY more out of it than I did and we already got them transportation. He rides the bus."

Well anyway on the way home since me and my fellow teacher car pool she said to me "You know I thought it was VERY RUDE of you to tell your aide that we were reading to much into that email."

"Why? Its true? All that email said was work out transportation because the marriage is strained. You and your aide said that ya'll had an email about a bad divorce and we were going to have to councel this child or some such bull and thats not what it said. So in other words you read to much into and innocent email about transportation." I said back.

"Well," she said, "i dont think we did because you know we might be the only peace that kid gets away from home and i think we should help him in anyway we can. I mean its our jobs as teachers to make sure that they are well adjusted and ..........blah blah blah"

I looked at her like she had 3heads and one of them was drooling. REALLY! I told her that NO my dear it is not a teacher's job to make sure the kids are well adjusted to anything but SCHOOL. I told her that it is the PARENTS job to make sure that their children are well adjusted humanbeings and grow up well. I am not and I will not PARENT my students but I will teach them to the best of my ability and I will protect them to the best of my ability.

I mean REALLY! This is the reason people are starting to believe that schools and daycare's raise your kids instead of the parents!!! I love my students but they are just that students. I dont give them much thought when i come home unless it was a trying day or when i'm doing lesson plans. It is NOT my job to adjust your kids to life. Hell I teach 3yearolds, so yeah i give you that most of what i do is more parenting then teaching in that i wipe butts, change diapers, give kisses and hugs, and dole out timeouts, BUT and there is a BIG BUT I'm not my kids parents and their lives outside of my classroom is not mine.

Me and my fellow teacher agreed to disagree and remain friends.

After that debicle the rest of the week passed mostly uneventfully after my panic/anxiety attack on the playground.

I still am not sure what the anxiety attack was for or about. One minute I was instructing the kids on the gross moter assesments and yelling for some of them to stop pushing when all of a sudden my skin got clammy, my heart rate sped up, and I couldnt catch my breath. My aide took over while I sat down and put my head between my legs and held back tears. It took 10minutes for me to calm down and slow my heart rate back to normal and to stop shaking, and even then I felt fragile and on the verge of tears for the rest of the day.

I aplogized to my aide and explained to her what happened though i didnt and still dont know why I had the anxiety attack. She's never seen anyone have a panic/anxiety attack before so she didnt know what was going on.

Afew nights later I got fever. I wasnt sick in the traditional sense of the word. I didnt have a cough, snuffly nose, headache or any other symptom than a fever of 101.8. I took it 5 times just to be sure it wasnt a faulty thermometer. So i took some tylonal and went to bed early. I still felt fine the next day and though my fever had went back to normal I was clammy and cold for the whole day. It came back partially, 99.9, that night but it was gone by the next day and i still felt fine. I do wonder if there was any connection between the fever and my anxiety attack. Silly I know but I wonder none the less.

Sprite's diarhea is back 2times a week or it has been this week and the one before last. I will be calling her GI doc on monday to let them know that she's started that again. I'm pushing liquids thinking maybe she needs more water or something. I dont know. We have a docs appointment at the end of October so we'll see what he says then i guess.

Sprite's cousin has contacted me via facebook to let me know that her older brother is missing his sister and "I" need to do something to let him see her because I'm not thinking about sprite and her siblings. HA! I say, HA!

I do nothing but think about and worry over Sprite and her siblings. My number hasn't changed since the last time I give it to her cousin, grandmother, aunt, and great grandmother. I have done nothing but bend over assbackwards to make sure she has some kind of contact with her siblings. I am the one who goes to the city 2hours and more away so that she can play with a brother who doesnt remember he even has a sister or that he lived with that sister for a year before he was taken away.

I am the one who instigates playdates with an older brother that SHE barely remembers. I am the one that has pictures of both her brothers on my walls so that she can at least see their faces on a daily basis. I do all of this and more for her because I dont want her to grow up and completely forget that she has siblings. And yet all i get is criticism and ill favor from a family that could care less about her 11mos out of the year.

She has a birthday coming up and every year i send an invitation to her older brother and every year they never respond nor do they show, but i still make sure to get him a party favor just in case. I will do the same and we'll see who shows to her party.

Speaking of party I still have no clue what I'm going to do for her party....... oh well i've got 3mos to work something out. Ideas would be helpful though if you have any.

Off topic agian and back to school. We had a parent meeting this past week and the parents and my fellow teacher are gung ho about fieldtrips. My fellow teacher is so enthusiastic that she rubbed her enthusiasm all over the parents and now they want field trips as well, BUT what she failed to mention to the parents was that she was looking for a new job and so all of the field trips that she wants and is willing to plan and be ga ga over will fall to ME because the bs of the job has gotten to her and she wants out. Yay me!


I don't want to do field trips every month with 30 up my butt kids!! I told her that if she quits the field trips will be little to non-existant because i can see one in the fall to the pumkin patch in the spring to somewhere and at the end of the year to Arbuckle Wilderness. Thats it!!

We had a field trip to the park this friday in the rain! it was lovely trying to keep the kids clean, dry and cooperative. I hated it! The bathrooms were NASTY it had ONE nasty toilet and a bucket for trash that was half full of rancid water!

I sent the boys to pee behind the building! My fellow teacher of course said it was fine! MY ASS! You couldnt pay me 1000 dollars to walk into that bathroom let alone sit on the toilet! Gross nasty humans!

The playground wasn't much better as it was grafitti covered and was a sore disappointment. The kids had fun, the parents had fun but all i could think was "is it time to go now?"

I can't wait to see how the pumpkin patch goes........oh joy.

ENOUGH talking about school!!!

I want to be pregnant and every once in a while i get sad and depressed over it because i dont have a partner/husband/ or boyfriend. So its not possible for me to get pregnant right now and wont be till i can save up for sperm from the spermbank.

Anyway My cousin just had a baby boy this week and i was ecstatic for her, until i got to looking at her pregnancy photo's as well as listening to everyone goo and gaa at her and the new baby. My happiness turned to sadness and though i'm not depressed *cough yet cough* a little sad i was that i wansn't pregnant or even soon to be pregnant as before i can get sperm i have to go to the doctors and all that goodness so at best i may be trying to get pregnant come next summer/fall, maybe.

The thought of that perks me up till i realize that it is a long time till next summer/fall, but perk me up it does because then i put together a budget for the nursery (boy or girl i got it budgeted) baby shower and all the goodstuff, LOL i'm a nut. Nut I am but i'm prepared. Some would say too prepared but as long as it lifts my mood i'm good.

Here's a story for you, dont cry now, its a little moody.

A Good Man
I love my husband he is a good man, and a good father to my two girls Alessa and Janessa. I love my husband he is a good man, and yet they wonder why I…me…Reyna Isabella Pierce won’t leave her husband. I was captain of the cheerleading squad, voted most likely to succeed, and valedictorian. I love my husband he is a good man and a good father to my girls. Yet while he is all of these things you wonder why I stay, why I let my girls stay. I’m no fool. I see you for what you are, all of you. You who tell me to leave him yet you look at him with covetous glances while whispering to me about safe houses and women’s homes and hotlines. I’m not giving him up just so you can have him. He is My husband and I love him. I love him enough for all of us.
You ask me about after high school wanting to know my dreams of when I was a girl. I see through you. You’re just trying to befriend me so that you can arrest my husband for something that was my entire fault. Well, I’ll tell you about me and my dreams and then maybe you’ll see that he is the man I say he is and not the monster you think. But first let me say that he is a good man, a good father and I love him.
I started college wanting to own my own flower shop. So started off in school with a major in botany…flower science my mother called it… and a minor in business. God, I miss her. Before you ask I’ll tell you, no I haven’t seen my mother since after the girls were born. She just gradually faded away like my sister and friends. No, I don’t and won’t call her, what for? So she can tell me I’ve made a mistake? Well, she told me that before my wedding day. She said that it wasn’t right that Jake was making me marry him because I was pregnant. She didn’t understand that he loved me to much to continue ‘living in sin’ he called it. She didn’t understand his love for me or mine for him. Well, I proved her wrong didn’t I, because he loves me and he is a good man and a good father. What? Why did I quit school? Because I got pregnant my sophomore year with Alessa and Janessa and Jake said that it wouldn’t be good for them with all the stress I was under with my studies. You see he had just passed the BAR exam and had gotten a job at a very good law firm as a defense attorney. So since he wanted to move up in the company everything needed to be just so. What, my face? No, it’s alright, the bleedings stopped and I can barely feel the knot. No, I’m fine, just let me finish so I can go home to my girls their missing me by now. Where was I, oh yeah. So I quit school and became a home maker nothing wrong with that is there?
When did he start beating me? Never, how could you say such a thing. He is a good man, how many times do I have to tell you that? You people and your questions, I don’t know why the doctor called you surely you have better things to do then harass me and my family. I hear the nurses talk. They wonder why I don’t leave him. They ask me why over and over yet when I tell them they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind or something. They just don’t understand and neither will you. Its not as if it’s his fault at all its not its mine. You see I was supposed to clean the house for when he came home with a client, but with the girls running around and the phone ringing off the hook I got distracted with one thing and another and when he came home the house wasn’t’ clean to his satisfaction. After the client left he got angry. What’s wrong with that? Everyone gets angry. Everyone loses control once in a while, and besides it was just a punishment. I deserved it. I could have done much better, I know it. He hardly ever punishes hard enough for me to go to hospitals, honestly, and he would never hurt my girls he loves them and me. Really he is a good man. It was just a punishment no one goes to jail over a punishment. That’s all it was really he just doesn’t know his own strength. He is a good man and all I want is to be a good wife to him. He loves me I know it, he just shows it differently.
One day everyone will see what I see, that he is a good, kind, gentle and loving man to me and my girls. Last night was just a fluke it wont happen again, you’ll see. It won’t, and tomorrow he’ll bring me roses yellow ones, because he knows they’re my favorite and when I’m better we’ll go out like we used to before we got married and he’ll be the man I fell in love with again. He’ll be the man I married. That is the reason I stay. That is the reason I go through the bad times, just for those little moments, days, weeks of good. Every marriage goes through bad times; no one is with out them. No one, especially me. So disregard the bruised ribs, the concussion, and my broken wrist because it’s nothing. I love my husband. He is a good man and a good father, and an exceptional lawyer. Who are you to tell me otherwise? Now if you don’t mind I have to be getting home. My girls are with a sitter and when Jake gets home he won’t be happy about the expense. He is a good man officer, and no I won’t press charges

1 comment:

  1. My first monologue! When I read it I still want to see someone besides me perform it.